Just had another "God Moment". Cleaning our room, changing our sheets, listening to Christian music on the radio about 10 mins. ago and here goes.....
"Did it ever occur to you that Ferdinand feels the same way about H and H as you do about J, J and M?"
What do you mean God?
"I mean you treat J, J and M differently since Bob died don't you?"
Yes. I guess I kinda do. " You feel 'sorry for them' you treat them with kid gloves and shelter them from any more harm"
Yes. "Do you feel sorry for H and H and treat them the same?"
Yes, but I am fulfilling the role of their mother now, so I think it's less intense and different for me because I am "IN " the role of their mother.
" Do you think it's less intense for Fredinand?"
What do you mean?
" I mean can't he feel the same way about J, J and M that you feel about H and H? Can't he feel the same about H and H as you feel about J, J and M?"
Thank You Lord, for letting me see that I am no better and no more important than Ferdinand in Your eyes. Thank You for opening my eyes up to the fact that Ferdinand hurts for H and H just as I do for J, J and M and that he wants to be Dad to J, J and M just as I am Mom to H and H. The roles that You have given us are NO different. We are EQUAL and the SAME. When I want to shelter J, J and M, Ferdinand wants to shelter H and H. And it's OKAY. And when I am Mothering, it's OKAY for Ferdinand to be Fathering. Both are equal and important roles in family life. Sometimes I need to step back and realize that when I feel hurt the most is when you ad God LOVE me the most. Life's easy applications are sometimes "blinded by MY light and not THE LIGHT (God) I feel better......
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